Bye Spring Break...

Hi. I suck at writing on here a lot. Just got back to Milwaukee from being home for a week on Spring Break. I was sort of bummed when I did not go anywhere for break, but then I had such a good time at home that I don't even care! I was non- stop it felt like. I got a pedicure with a friend that used to be in my life every day and now I hardly see anymore. It was fun catching up though, and it was well over due. Other days I just hung out with some of my very best friends that I never seem to have a dull time with. It's such an amazing feeling to know that the same people have been there for me for so long and I am not worried that things will ever change. Let's be honest, my heart couldn't handle it if they did. 

Now that I am back though and break is over it is starting to set in;reality. It is so scary. I am working on getting an internship this summer since I will be still in school. I am working on accepting the fact that I won't be graduating. Why stress about something that I cannot change? I will graduate. I will get a job that I like, and until I do I will not settle. Accepting reality, yeah, I am working on that. 

Heard a song today that really made me think. "Water Tower" by Jason Aldean. Wow, it really hit home. Such a good song. Music. What would I do without it? Music and writing are the two things that can calm me down no matter what, they at least help a bit. Plus, they don't make me listen to their opinions. I can say, hear, do what I want. NOT what others think I should do. 

Done rambling for now.

Mondays....

** I am moving a few posts from my old blog to this new one

Today was a cliche Monday. Couldn't wake up. Classes were annoying. I was annoying. I hate when I am in that mood that I can't shake because I don't want to be rude to other people. Sometimes I go a little overboard.  Anyways, got a little homework done. Need to do more the rest of this week so that I can enjoy the weekend with all my friends. :) Unbelievably excited, we will have so much fun. It's hard to imagine not having the friends and family I care about so much in my life. I honestly don't want to ever know the person I am without them because I am scared of who that would be. They keep me sane when I  am feeling insane. They remind me everyday where I came from and how that will never change. It is such an amazing feeling and I wish and hope that everyone find that close niche I have with my friends and family.

In lieu of how I am feeling about a particular person, I'm not going to worry because I know that when the time comes i'll be ready to ask what the situation is. Regardless, I will be fine. I am 22. I am young. School and life first, love second.

In the news of social- politicalness today, however, Cardinal O'Brien admitted to sexually harassing people under his watch. As if the Catholics don't have enough social media from the past to live down.

Oh yeah, And we're supposed to get approx. 8 more inches of snow tomorrow. Ugh. Missing summer.

"Ifs"

Ugh. I really need to do this more often. It would really help me straighten my thoughts out. Laying in bed worrying about the next couple months and how everyone is graduating, except me. Very frustrating, but also my own fault. If I wouldn't have slacked off so much- this wouldn't be happening. If I wouldn't have ditched my education major - this wouldn't be happening. If I wouldn't have attempted a business minor- this wouldn't be happening. If. If. If. I worry now but really my life wouldn't be what it is now if it wasn't for all those "ifs". I thank God everyday  even through the worry, anxiety, and pain for them all. There is definitely things that could be worse.

Which brings me to my next thought...
One of my coworkers and friends has of late had a daily struggle with the meaning and importance of life. He isn't finding it worth living and it's extremely sad, frustrating, and heart breaking to watch. Trying to talk to him does nothing. He only sees the temptation of a permanent relief. Just praying he doesn't seek it.

Feels good to fill the void of communication with writing again.

Back to Blogging

I don't know why I wait so long in between writings on this thing. Since it has been so long I decided that I would just make a whole new one. School just started up again and it has been really hard for me to get back in the swing of things. I had such an amazing summer with  my family and all my very best friends in the world that I dreaded leaving that small town that everyone dreams of leaving while growing up. It was a lot harder this year- my last year of college ( hopefully)- than it has been since my freshman year! It sucks. It is not so bad when I am at work or class, but when I finally get the chance to be home and relax I totally lose control of my mind. I think about how much I miss home. It's sad, isn't it? I am twenty- two years old and I struggle leaving my parents. HA! I do enjoy the company of my good friends/ roommates here but after three months of not being with them and being used to being around the people that know me most it is a tad hard. However sad I may be now tomorrow is another day and it will bring good things. I know this. It is my last year of college and cannot believe how fast 5 years will have gone. I hope to get a job in the appleton/ stevens point areas. That would be nice. Milwaukee has been great, but I think I am over it now. 

On another note, my summer was absolutely amazing. I worked of course for the 40 hours/week, but when Friday at 2 pm came it was lights out. I have some pretty crazy friends I have to admit. They are always ready to rock. I think I need to stay sober at school for 3 months to make up for summer vacation ( as if that would happen). 

Anyways, for now I am going to quit rambling. Felt good though.